An ode to introverts.
If half of the population is introverted, are we best leveraging their skills when most attention is on the extroverts?
I often joke that introverts find extroverts to talk with, while extroverts… ‘we’ just talk to ourselves. And although most of us can’t be strictly attached to one category or the other, it’s the disposition when processing where I will place my stake in the ground. I read Susan Cain’s Quiet many years ago and it left a deep impression on my approach to engaging groups, with attention to introverts as the centre of my facilitation beacon.
Picture yourself in a room of people - who’s doing the talking, who’s the first to speak, and where does the conversation lead when the loudest voices are the drivers? The processing that extroverts do is automated, and I consider myself in this group. They (we) are sharing openly and sometimes don’t have a fully formed conclusion, instead the space is serving as an open dialogue to work it out. Speaking helps extroverts explore possibilities, dissect their understanding and sometimes confirm their thinking. I know for myself, and many others I’ve worked with, a simple conversation out loud can bring confidence to a path forward. How many of you can picture this person, asking to talk with you and only talking to themselves in the end. This is processing in action, which is vital for understanding, which is in turn vital for making good decisions.
Now, in true form, let’s get to the introverts. I certainly hope nobody questions the capabilities introverts bring to the table and this summary is intended to bolster our collective attention to them.
Let’s start with that introvert who we’ve all experienced that hardly speaks. They are listening, intensely, and thinking. In a recurring group they can let multiple meetings go by without saying anything, but when they do, it results in a golden nugget of communication hard to surpass! The stewing, the percolating, the simmering of thinking and dissecting, all that digging deeper results in a well stewed and simple delivery that succinctly summarizes many of the words already shared. It becomes silent, people turn, often nodding, and if that wise introvert referenced something you yourself said, it’s like being bestowed with a gift. The introverts are processing, to help their understanding ...on the inside.
Sometimes it’s not such a dramatic scene and the bigger question leaders should bring awareness to is: has everyone had enough time to process for understanding. This is where the division between the two groups gets blurred, as most of us need time to process. And, I’m emphasizing this once again, understanding is vital for decision-making. If you give time to the introverts they will process deeply on the inside, often identify gaps, clarify or expand on the information that everyone has. This could be vital to making the right decision for moving forward and the introverted approach to processing makes it more likely that they will dig into the details, which we all appreciate.
The need for engaging people can range from casual planning sessions, formal board meetings, to strategic planning. My skilled and impartial facilitation allows various roles to think and understand, while I ensure that the discussion is comprehensive, inclusive and thorough. How can I help?
A few ways to engage introverts in a group:
Communicate information for review, in advance.
Ask everyone to reflect first, prior to sharing feedback.
Notice who isn’t speaking and ask what they’ve been thinking; they have definitely been thinking and likely have good nuggets to share!
If you know the group, ask the introverts to share first. This one comes with a warning that us extroverts will be chomping at the bit to speak!